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Post by Auset on Nov 6, 2003 15:51:10 GMT -5
Do you believe in too much support? And if so what should be supported and what should not be supported. Can a parent push a childs goal too much?
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Post by The_Realist on Nov 10, 2003 4:06:02 GMT -5
the people's expectations of yourself in an area can often outweigh the expectations that you carry for yourself.. sometimes it can make you feel like "this is what everyone else wants me to do" rather than having the choice of your own.
i say it's 50/50.. in some things it's good to push your child to the "extreme" and in other things, it is bad to push your child to the extreme. Push them towards success in whatever they want to do in life, rather than push them towards success in just the direction you want them to go.
shew, that's one reason why i chose sports over furthering my education: everyone else expected me to persue athletics.. and i don't want to let others down, nor let talent go to waste.. but still, the other half of me is unsatisfied for not persuing college right after highchool.
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Post by Auset on Nov 10, 2003 8:02:02 GMT -5
Can a parent push their child too hard to achieve the dream that the child has? If they push too hard is it still the childs dream or is does it turn the child off from it? For instance if a child wants to be a singer and their parents make them sing for three hours a day until it is perfect does it take the joy out for the child. Is the parent wrong and what should the parent do to correct it?
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Post by The_Realist on Nov 10, 2003 8:07:33 GMT -5
Can a parent push their child too hard to achieve the dream that the child has?
in my opinion, no... if someone has a dream/goal.. i don't believe anyone can push one too hard to achieve it.. unless, that extra someone is setting an overwhelming amount of pressure on "this has to be done X way and done by X amount of time".. and if that's the case, one might become too frustrated steered away from the goal altogether.
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Post by Auset on Nov 10, 2003 8:12:28 GMT -5
I'm enjoying this convo because you are bringing some very valid points into effect. So if a child changes their goal and the parent has put all this time effort and money into it already should they try to keep the child there or help them with the next dream?
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Post by The_Realist on Nov 10, 2003 8:12:50 GMT -5
typo:
"..too frustrated AND steered away.."
you can't force your child into a certain mold.. only, you can instill the knowledge in your child's mind to guide them into that certain direction in life.. it's all about education, not just making demands.
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Post by Auset on Nov 10, 2003 8:19:12 GMT -5
Great point! another question, how should one encourage a child that has changed their goal soooo many times it becomes like...Denise on the Cosby show?
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Post by The_Realist on Nov 10, 2003 9:28:09 GMT -5
haa. Denise did change hers up a lot... "i want to be a fashion designer".. "i want to be a record producer".. etc.
personally, i'd it my child down and talk to it.. discuss the significance of setting solid goals in life and following that in which your heart truly desires and feels it's meant to achieve.. make sure the goals are realistic and discuss the importance of having something to fall back on just in case..
ha, i really don't know what i would do if i had a child that kept setting evanescent goals.. i guess try to get the best understanding of where my child is coming from and pray that my child will eventually marinate into making more solid decisions in life.
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Post by Auset on Nov 10, 2003 9:31:59 GMT -5
You mentioned you persued a sports goal can you tell me more about that what role your parents played in either encourage or discouraging? also do you plan on going back to school?
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Post by The_Realist on Nov 12, 2003 8:59:39 GMT -5
see, i box... it's a full time thing.. practice 5 days week for 2 & 1/2 hours sometimes 6-7days a week (depends on if there's a fight coming up).. i have to get up early every morning to do what is called "Road Work" (run miles and etc)....
see, i won the State Championships in Feb of 2003.. and after i won that.. everyone held higher expectations for me.. i always said that if i go pro, then i will go in abut 2yrs or so, but i just found out recently that they want me to go within a few more fights.. which, is fine with me..
But the thing is, this is the first sport/hobby that my mother has ever supported me in.. and when i wasn't driving, she busted her tale to take me to practice everyday and etc (which i greatly appreciate)... and see, there's no such thing as "boxing season".. it's all year round.. and we all take breaks (individually) from time-to-time.. well, i still remember when i came to her after a year and 1/2 of boxing never missing more than two days from the gym (even when i was sick).. and i said, "Ma, i want to take some time off from boxing to get my head straight.. get myself together".. she literally flipped out on me.. talking about, "No.. because then you may never come back.. there's no reason why you have to take a break.. i busted my tale everyday to get you to and from practice when you weren't driving and i be damned if i let that go to waste...." ,"yadda yadda yadda"..
Well, shortly after i won State Championships.. i asked her if she could use her credit card to pay for SATs (i was registering online).. and she paid for it after much mouth.. but, then she was like, "well.. don't think you will be living here long after you graduate"..
so, that's when i started looking at my life and how things will have to be... and there's no way i could work full time plus box, plus attend college..
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Post by The_Realist on Nov 12, 2003 9:08:44 GMT -5
(oops, it accidentally posted too early)..
like i was saying...
there's no way i could work full time, box, and go to school. i myself just couldn't see it getting done.. so, basically, i had to toss a coin between boxing and school... and i love boxing, but i also love my education.. but, i thought about my mother.. there's no way she'd let me quit boxing.. it's like i've come too far to quit.. people have high expectations for me in it and i can't let them down.. so, i see it like this.. boxing isn't guarenteed, but it's also not something i can do forever, especially being a female.. come time i get married and want a family, i can't box and be pregnant, ha... so, i'm hoping that once i'm done with boxing, i can go back to school... but it's like everyone else's pressure and high expectations of me in boxing prevented me from quitting for school.. they have plans for me in boxing, not in furthering my education...
so, now.. on my spare time.. i'm studying and etc.. and get my education the best way i know how.. i've always studied that in which i don't know.. i can't be ignorant.
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