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Post by Auset on Nov 5, 2003 16:51:00 GMT -5
Well I wasn't finished typing and I heit return by accident so tell me what do you think? could it happen to you?
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Post by Tori on Nov 5, 2003 17:10:52 GMT -5
I saw this boy in Piggly Wiggly (grocery store) I was in the 6th grade he was in the 9th. He paid me no mind. the next year i was in his momma's 7th grade class and she loved me. She called me her daughter-in-law and even made the boy take me home from school in his new car! He admitted to his boys that he thought I was cute but I wasn't in high school yet so he paid me no mind. I was in LOVE with this boy for the next two years and then finally got to high school. My freshman year I finally started talking to him and two other guys at the same time. They all found out, approached me, and said I had to choose. Y'all know who I chose, and everything was going good UNTIL we had been talking for a couple of weeks and he realized I was not just a virgin but a SCARED virgin. the next thing I know everyone is saying he is playing me and I asked him about it. He said she was just his friend, and I believed him. Then afterschool one day this girl and her friends walk up behind me and mine and say "So 'the girls name' how long have you been talking to OJ?" She is like "Bout a month" real loud. Y'all I was so hurt b/c I had never experienced anything like that, and this dude is my first love. I just kept walking with my head up and tears started streaming down my face my girls saw me and went at old girl and her crew, but I just kept walking and crying. I asked him about it and he just laughed saying Y'all beat they azz. I hung up the phone and from that point on I was jumping boys trying to lose my virginity. I was wide open like whatever, most people didn't know about it but I just didn't care anymore. The story goes on but that's how it all began!
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Post by Auset on Nov 5, 2003 17:17:01 GMT -5
Dang girl so he hurt you bad enough to turn you out? I have been hurt plenty of times but just always closed myself up to the world for a minute. You know what I mean? So what else happened?
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Post by Tori on Nov 5, 2003 17:36:07 GMT -5
I didn't have any respect for men and I really didn't have any trust in them already because of my Daddy. So I started talking to dudes he was real cool with AND I would get money out of them and pretend I loved them but I didn't have no love for nobody including myself. I loved money, jewelry, clothes, acrylic nails, and weaves. Anything that could hide the real me...this gold diggin monster. I just wanted to get stuff out of dudes I had good boys hustlin just to afford me. I mean hustlin hard and still broke because I wanted to break them hurt their pride and fuck with their friends just to mess up their friendship. I was TRIFE. Then I moved on to the old head hustlers, with their big trucks and rims and apartments. I thougt I was doing it and had my girls doin it too. I mean I would let dudes beat me and lie about it as long as he had enough money to support me and my habits. I lied to my mom my brother to anybody to get what I wanted I was just wide open. My grades got bad most of the time I wouldn't even go to school, my mom would drop me off and some dude would pick me up. Take me shopping and to his house or a room. If I went to school I had to be high and girls hated the evil little witch that I was so much I carried a little 22 in my pocket book. I felt happy as long as I had a pocket full of money, a no good boyfriend, and some weed in my system. I was making old boy real jealous but he didn't know how f*cked up I was in the head!
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Post by Auset on Nov 5, 2003 17:44:19 GMT -5
So what broke you out of this situation you were in. I can relate to using people when I was younger but instead of having sex with them i wouldn't have sex with them. Shoot I was a virgin until a junior in highschool and that still was the wrong move. So what was your turning point or is there more to the story?
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Post by Tori on Nov 5, 2003 18:22:43 GMT -5
Yeah well of course he wanted what he couldn't have so he got rims and a system stepped up his game and approached. I melted right there girl he had me caught up again, and dude I was with at the time got into it with him. I was at home but the story goes they pulled guns in the Miami Subs parking lot one night and both ended up getting locked up over my games. I would date a guy and pretend to love him but as soon as OJ came along I would play everybody else. It soon beame a very well known fact but still they couldn't get enough of me, there is something about a cold-hearted woman that intrigues some men. This went on until I left for college and met my fiance my first week of school. He was just there, a senior very focused and I knew I was going to be with him I told one of my professors "That's going to be my boyfriend, and I don't know why!". He had the ugliest car I called it "Aqua Boogie" and I still liked him. We started a real relationship and for once in my life I didn't feel smarter than my mate, I didn't want to take him for the little bit he had, I just wanted to be with him. One night we were talking and he said "I like you...not your clothes...your car...your hair, but you. I think you are very intelligent, way smarter than you let people believe and much sweeter too!" I don't know why, but I finally felt good about not just him, but myself. I had people telling me for years that YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, SO PRETTY, SO SMART. I felt like as long as I kept a pretty face and a smile people would think highly of me,and they did (that's the sick part) but to know I have one person who loves me for me even when I'm ugly both physically and emotionally...it helped me to release a lot of baggage I had been carrying for years. I was able to just be me not defensive or offensive just living. I think that if my dad had been there years ago to say what my fiance said that night, it would not have mattered what my first love did to hurt me. BUT I'm here now and life is good I found out that I'm always going to love me even if someone else doesn't because my fiance is right I am GOOD just being me! ;D
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Post by Auset on Nov 6, 2003 10:58:28 GMT -5
Can I ask what role has your father played in your life? has he been there for you?
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Post by joyluv on Nov 7, 2003 11:26:47 GMT -5
There was this guy that I knew from the six greade. He was one year my senior when I first moved to the U.S. and to that new school. Coming from the West Indies, I wasn't supposed to be in the sixth grade...I was supposed to be in the 8th but due to my age and the fact that the vice principal and many teachers hated me because I was advanced, I was kept in the sixth grade.
Soon after, I got incredibly bored with the work and a seventh grade teacher fought for me to join her class and there he was. Tall and doofy lol (hindsight talking of course lol) He was one of the smartestkids in the school, a musical prodigy and his dad was the school's music teacher. All the girls loved him, his godbrother (who's father was pastor and principal of the school) and his clique of freinds...all of them...fine!!!!! And little ole me with a crush.
A year later he graduated and everyone moved on their separate ways (lots happened for me to leave...long long story)
I came back when I was 17 and his was extrememly surprised...he mouth dropped open as I recalled when I walked into church one day and fromt hen we hit it off.
It was an on again, off again thing for him but I fell in absolute love for him and he said that he loved me as well but it wasn;t so.
Some time passed and we started talking seriously when he went off to college. We kept up communication...welll I did...and long hours online catching up on things though when he come home on breaks, I could never seem to get any of his time and he was well aware of how I felt.
Time passed and the summer was arriving quickly and we decided that it was set...we were going to occupy each other's time as much as time would allow us to. At the same time, there was a retreat and all the youth of the church were excited about it and so was I...including the fact that he was finally going to be here and it was abou tto get CRUNK!
I invited my cousins and my former best friend were all there and they know everything that was going on..no secrets.
So we sat in a group and saved a seat for him.
Then he walks in....
WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND ON HIS ARM!
And he looks at me like I shouldn't be shocked or upset. Therest of the day was blur and I left after a couple hours...went home and cried my little eyes out and I made the decision to never talk tohim again, which really got to him and he couldn't understand why I was angry and hurt. I was honest with him and I required that he be honest with me as well, even if that meant he had interest in someone else but...hey that wasn't the case...
Well all in all....it worked out to an extent but I never felt that kind of burn and hurt ever before and I pray never to feel that again.
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Post by Style4ya on Nov 19, 2003 21:33:11 GMT -5
I was so turned out by my son's dad that I wouldn't even speak to another guy. If I was at the store, or just passed someone and they said hi, I would just put my head down and keep walking. I was so turned out that he had girls coming to his house to see him while I was sitting on the couch. I don't know if you would call that turned out or dumb. Probably more like dumb. But, I thank him for that because he made me strong. After I finally got rid of him, I had the game face on. To this day, I don't take ish from any man. My sister used to tell people-you better watch out, she's rough on a man! I mean it. It made me a better person, because I wised up and now people know that they can't get over on me. You can try, But it won't work. If you think you want to push me, there's the door!
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