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Post by Justin on Dec 30, 2004 12:40:53 GMT -5
Once you've been burned in love, it's hard (at least for me) to trust another woman with my love. I believe that's why I've remained single for so long. And the stats (I know, shouldn't be lookin' at them) in marriages staying together aren't looking so good. So how does one (like me) begin to trust in love again?
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Post by The_Realist on Dec 30, 2004 17:04:50 GMT -5
well, a lot of that relies in the trust you have for yourself... But... here's something to think about:
Your mother can't possibly be the only good woman out there.
It's easy to trust a good woman, despite what you have been through.
What would your response be to a woman that you took interest in... and you go to move in and she says, "Justin, i have lost my sense of trust for men.. i have been scorned one too many times"... ?
That same advice you give her, would be the same advice to give yourself.
Trust is something the most abused thing in this world.
Banks want you to trust them with your money, yet... they don't trust you with their pens.... i mean, damn... they keep a chain tied to it.
Just some things to ponder until i can cook up a better answer and response to this question.
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Divine Justice
Almost fam *Step brother/sister*
I'm a POOH @ heart...
Posts: 246
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Post by Divine Justice on Jan 10, 2005 18:17:35 GMT -5
I agree that the advice you would give to a woman scorned is the same advice you should take for yourself. Jus I know how you feel and I'm slowly building p my trust in my current relationship. It's not an easy thing and there are days when I want to just let go of it all and creep back into my shell where I'm protected by a wall. But how can one live like that? We can't, just take it one day at a time...
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Post by Auset on Jan 12, 2005 12:47:52 GMT -5
I have to give agree with realist and cuzzo. I know how you feel justin, Been there one too many times myself and if you take this advise you will find it in yourself to love again. don't be blind just be wise and the thing about trust is it should always be given until broken and then once it's broken it must be earned. But you can't put on the next person what the first person did, because if you do that you may never find it in your heart to love again.
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Post by Mesha on Feb 15, 2005 4:41:41 GMT -5
Justin
Its possible to trust again after you have been hurt, it takes time but you can do it. I would say that it starts with trusting yourself to know if the one you are dealing with has your best interest at heart.
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Post by Fela on May 18, 2005 6:27:45 GMT -5
Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves."
~ Walter Anderson ~
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Post by Justin on May 24, 2005 23:38:28 GMT -5
well, a lot of that relies in the trust you have for yourself... But... here's something to think about: Your mother can't possibly be the only good woman out there. It's easy to trust a good woman, despite what you have been through. What would your response be to a woman that you took interest in... and you go to move in and she says, "Justin, i have lost my sense of trust for men.. i have been scorned one too many times"... ? That same advice you give her, would be the same advice to give yourself. Trust is something the most abused thing in this world. Banks want you to trust them with your money, yet... they don't trust you with their pens.... i mean, damn... they keep a chain tied to it. Just some things to ponder until i can cook up a better answer and response to this question. Thanks Realist, I understand what you're sayin'. If a woman told me that I would be patient and work with her and do what I could to crumble that wall of insecurity. And since I'm in that situation it's not an easy guard to let down but I know eventually it has to happen. I give myself that advice all the time, I try but I think it may be easier with help. |
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Post by Justin on May 24, 2005 23:42:21 GMT -5
don't be blind just be wise and the thing about trust is it should always be given until broken and then once it's broken it must be earned. But you can't put on the next person what the first person did, because if you do that you may never find it in your heart to love again. That's true. I'm good about not puttin' my probs with one girl on the next but I can't help but think about "What IF's." Man, I feel I'm gonna be single for life...it seems that way. Thanks Bubowlz. |
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Post by Justin on May 24, 2005 23:45:01 GMT -5
Thanks Mesha and Fela. It's a long process, at least it feels that way.
But when trusting again, do you let all of your guards down or do you/should you let them all down since it's a new person who should be given all-access with trust?
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Post by calilady on Nov 11, 2005 17:30:23 GMT -5
For me it's pretty much a wrap  I am tired of being disappointed in men the sure way for that not to happen is not to let them get too close to you.
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Divine Justice
Almost fam *Step brother/sister*
I'm a POOH @ heart...
Posts: 246
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Post by Divine Justice on Nov 13, 2005 14:31:49 GMT -5
Justin I would be lying if I said to put your guard down, because I know it's not something I'd do. All I can say is everything is situational. Yes it's a new person but you don't want to wear your heart on your sleeve. You'll know when to let that person fully in.
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Lady
Almost fam *Step brother/sister*
Posts: 197
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Post by Lady on Nov 14, 2005 13:42:27 GMT -5
Well this is my problem, when I got out of a relationship it took me about a year to build my confidence back up to let another guy in. I would push men away because the hurt factor was still there but when I did get involved with someone he was someone I'd known for abut three years and after a year with him he left me for my cousin, so how do you deal with crap like that? It's Karma, I think I'm getting back what I've done to others in the past. What do you all think.
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Divine Justice
Almost fam *Step brother/sister*
I'm a POOH @ heart...
Posts: 246
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Post by Divine Justice on Nov 15, 2005 8:11:38 GMT -5
Wow I hear you Lady after my first love and I went our separate ways I was like F. it I don't need this. So it was a couple of years before I dealt with anyone seriously. But I do feel Karma and what you do will eventually catch up to you. I just say take it one day at a time and never give all of yourself.
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