I GOTTA QUESTION?

[Msmoore]

First of all I have to start by saying this is an ex of mine who I have remained on good terms with, we were in and out of relationships for thirteen yrs. Now my question is why must some men be so shady?? him and I had a good freindship and I was literally there for him in the lowest of times but lately he has been on some brand new shit foreal!!!
we communicate on a regular and I told him if ever he were in a realtionship let me know because I really do not want to step on any toes. Now I am a woman and I can understand another woman not wanting communication w/an ex. He reassures me that he is solo which I am now starting to know is a LIE!!!!
the reason I say this is because the past couple of times I have called him he will conversate for a little while then he's like can I call you back??? and when he asks this question we have been on the phone all of five or three minutes??? but when ol boy has an issue he calls me anytime he wants with first asking do you have company or am I disturbing anything??? knowing damn well I would not be answering the phone if there was!!!!!
Now yesterday I needed to talk to him and the first thing I asked was he busy because I really needed to talk just on some real shit that was on my mind, I thought he would be more than happy to speak w/me knowing that I ALWAYS speak with him!!!
he was like yeah Im cleaning up and my phone is about to die??? so now I'm pissed so I was like ok bye he was like yeah bye?

[Msmoore]

CONTINUATION MY COMPUTER IS FLIPPIN OUT!!!
so I call back and say "would you like for me to stop calling you? because every time I call you are either busy or in a hurry to get off of the phone?" I told him to just be real about his shit and stop playin games. he was like didn't I tell you I was cleaning up? I will call you back!!! so yall know by this time I am fuming!!! so I just hang up.
This may seem petty to yall but I feel like a person should be hones about theris and stop playing so many petty games, I thought that when you have history like that you should be man enough and a freind enough to be more real when and if you are involved?
The only thing that really hurt is that I thought that no matter what if I needed an ear his would be there and to bursh someone off who has always had your back even when fam turned on them?? I just do not get it? and I know and I have severed my ties w/him. I am the type of person who has to get her words or feelings off of her chest, so I left a message and told him exactly how I felt about his behavior and if he is seeing someone I apologize if I stepped on any toes but he should have been man enough to tell the truth . I am done w/his sorry ass and he is no longer a friend of mine!!!! but the question is and still remains why can't some men be real
whew glad I got that off of my chest I am a firm believer in Karma so he will be taken care of with his own stupidity !!!

[Renetrice]

[glow=pink,5,300]There has to be a good reason, other than him being shady, for him to avoid you like that.

Before you take offense to his actions, let's think more logically. Maybe he didn't want to tell you if had a ladyfriend over, 'cause it would hurt your feelings. Who knows what was going through his mind, unless you asks! Thirteen years of friendship is alot to throw away just because you feel his was decitful one time. Why don't you cool down, and talk to him when he's unoccupied, and find out what's up with you boy. Don't give up so easily. [/glow]

[joyluv]

You know I have learned that men just don't want to talk sometimes. They want to just forget for a while and recoup before they spill their hearts out...

Give him some time...he'll come around

(Now this doesn't apply to every man because some of them are really devils)

[Msmoore]

Thank you both we will see what happens but I'm pretty much just done w/him because this has been done on more than one occasion over the years and I have always been the bigger one to forgive and forget but this time I think enough is enough.

[Style4ya]

I agree with Joy on the fact that sometimes they dont want to talk. Why? I dont know. It's not like its hard or anything. But I wouldnt call him anymore. If you still want to be friends with him, let him make the next move and call you.(but that doesnt mean you have to be available when he is ready) Feel me. Friendship is supposed to be mutual. If he is not holding up his part, let him step. For 13 years of what is is y'all had, he could be more forthcoming. Just my opinion though.

[purpleprincess]

Style4ya said:

I agree with Joy on the fact that sometimes they dont want to talk. Why? I dont know. It's not like its hard or anything. But I wouldnt call him anymore. If you still want to be friends with him, let him make the next move and call you.(but that doesnt mean you have to be available when he is ready) Feel me. Friendship is supposed to be mutual. If he is not holding up his part, let him step. For 13 years of what is is y'all had, he could be more forthcoming. Just my opinion though.

I'm with u Style - if yall have a 13 year history, he should be able to be more forthcoming and honest with u Msmoore. If he calls you again after hearing your message (cuz I'm sure it wasn't a nice one), at least let him explain and take it from there. But if you really feel like you don't want to deal with him anymore there's nothing any of us can tell you to make you feel any different.


PS - A wise woman once said that men act the way they do because they have ding-a-lings! LOL

[Msmoore]

ok yall I did not call him back but he called me the other day. The first thing that came out of his mouth was "what kind of message was that" I told him it was self explanatory. He went on to appologize because he fully explained in detail what the problemwas. He said that in the future he would keep me abreast so that there would not be any misunderstandings.
Yeah the message was cold but sometimes being straight up does not sound nice Thank you all for your wonderful advice

[purpleprincess]

Glad to hear you got it all straight.